Sta.sh
Oblige me this
Gaze into my eyes
Tell me what you see
I’ll hold you here forevermore
If you will only conjure us
From the depths of memory
Recollect the days before
When we engaged in love
Not war
Let me kiss you once again
Those lips stained pink
With a blush you cannot hide
Feel my tongue slide deep within
Your sweet mouth
Fingers entangled
Until you cease
To push me away
And yield yourself to me
Will you let me in?
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I'm so glad I found this poem on search! It was really of character. I can actually imagine Axel reciting this to Roxas.
Unnaturally persuasive. I don't think it's fair at all how you're able to narrate the usually intangible, immeasurable soul so like thread to a weave. As binding the human-macrocosm's interims with so much ease makes the rest of us struggling writers look like we're hardly able to consider zipping our own pants without catching a nose-bleed. I also think it's a complete atrocity that your ability to do said act of magic is not readily published (bound, in book form, with ISBN) internationally for all to revel in.
You should remedy that.
At your earliest convenience.
Seriously.
Take the advice. lol.
Really though. I think your work has plenty of appeal. Consider your work in contrast to Jewel's floppy book of semi-well-written-but-mostly-too-personal-to-relate-to garbage. So far all of your work has very broad and easily accessible meanings, and that's the importnat thing. What we (as a reader) are taking away from it.
You're not so much telling us stories of you, as you may feel or have intended, but giving us stories of ourselves.
That's purely the difference.
*Runs and hides, suddenly shy yet grinning like a loon*
See the comment above yours.